i'm always starting over

the temporary nature of life is what makes it precious.

Hello friends!

There’s a lot of new people on here thanks to musicstack and the incredible music writing community here. I wanted to thank every single person who wrote an article about my album release so far, so here it is. Thank you to: Phillippa Taylor, JustSomeMustard, Eve Smith,Sophia McHardy, Chris Hedden, Cody, jillian, mason, Natalie – and more to come :)

It is not lost on me how supportive, kind, and uplifting the substack music community is. I love getting to know everyone here. In a world where making art on the internet can feel meaningless or lonely, you guys have given me so much hope!!

If you haven’t listened to the album yet, you can check it out here.

See me live:

LOS ANGELES CA, MAY 22 @ Permanent Records Roadhouse 6PM

NEW YORK NY, JUNE 11 @ Nightclub 101 @ 6:30PM

NASHVILLE TN, JULY 10 @ Vinyl Tap

MEMPHIS TN, JULY 11 @ Haven Haus

BIRMINGHAM AL, JULY 12 @ Seasick Records

ASHEVILLE NC, JULY 14 @ Grey Eagle

GREENVILLE SC, JULY 15 @ Horizon Records

FOUR OAKS NC, JULY 16 @ Old Records Off The Shelf

RALEIGH NC, JULY 17 @ School Kids Records

ASHEVILLE NC, JULY 18 @ Grey Eagle

Onto the blog now,

Em

Four days before my album comes out, I am cutting my hair with kitchen scissors and selling piles of my clothes. I can feel that I need to make room for something new.

my hair / my clothes

One week before my album release, my boyfriend and I get into our first big argument. I am packing everything I have at his place into trash bags. In the moment, I am completely ready to leave. Like I am an expert at this. I know exactly how to change everything, because I do it all the time.

We worked it out, because we love each other. But the healing in and of itself is still a change. It’s like beginning again.

Maybe that is why, in the past, I’ve been caught up in cycles. Cycles are addicting, because they always start over. And I have always loved new beginnings.

a still from my music video for “if people could fly” by addie briggs.

One month before my album release, my family dog, Bogie, passes. He is the first dream that ever came true for me. When I was in seventh grade, he actually saved my life.

I was walking him in the early morning, when everything is quiet. We passed a man, who I would’ve thought was harmless — but Bogie growled at him. As we walked, Bogie turned around: once, then twice. On the third time Bogie turned around, I turned too. Then I saw the man do a full spin. He was running towards us. Bogie and I outran him, but I always wondered what might’ve happened if my dog hadn’t been there to warn me.

After I find out that my dog is gone, I walk to the corner store and buy a soda. I sit down on the sidewalk edge and drink until it’s empty. It’s the end of childhood.

The last time I saw Bogie, I had a feeling that I needed to take 100 pictures of him. I am so glad that I took all these photos before he passed.

I jump into the new with maybe more enthusiasm than I should. It’s the only way I know how to keep momentum running in my life. If things stay the same way, so do I.

I need to change my environment, move around, live out of a bag. Go on trips, get inspired, make stuff, finish projects, projects, projects. The projects never end. If anything stays the same for more than three months, I get wistless. I get confused by my own insides. I navel gaze, I get like a hamster in a wheel.

I need life to happen to me, so I can get out of my own way.

So the album is out. It’s like the title: made it! The album, in the run-on sentence on my early adulthood is that: ! It is a declarative punctuation mark.

So everything just keeps moving, and things grow, contract, grow, contract, until they end. So all of it keeps happening in waves. So the temporary nature of life is what makes it precious.

Now I start over.